Category: love and sexy stuff

Toxic love and shame

“You are too good for him/her!”
“Why don’t you leave him/her already?”

Sometimes people try to shame us out of toxic love. Sometimes we try to do this to ourselves.
Or worse, be feel so much shame about that dysfunctional relationship we are STILL in, that we clam up and talk to nobody about it.
Not even ourselves.
We feel so much shame that we start to hate ourselves. Or we become whiny and weird and feel shame about that.

Shame spreads like a very sticky virus. We start to feel  shame about the way our bodies look. We start to feel shame that we seem to be unable to do anything about it. We start to feel shame about the way our kids act. We start to feel shame about our homes, our work, our education. About the way we speak. We diet or indulge in harmful stuff hate our bodies because these are what we are and these are the reason we are living that unworthy existence.
Than we feel even more shame.

Trying to shame ourselves out of emotional addiction is like trying to shame ourselves out of growing cancer cells.

(an approach taken by some misguided healers).


The Empress is shameless

Fear is the vibration of “I might die”.
Shame is the vibration of “I should not even be alive”.

Fear is the vibration of “I might lose love”.
Shame is the vibration of “I should never be loved at all”.

If we feel unable to push toxic people out of our lives we can instead try to invite our own lost parts back into our lives. The one we have long ago shamed out of it.
We can tenderly embrace all those wounded, addicted, unfulfilled parts and bring them back to oneness.
This is a gentle and slow process and it will take our intention off of destruction and shame and back into healing.

the empress is shameless

the empress is shameless

The Empress is shameless.

Tongue in Cheek

Some informations, while they may be correct
are not to be taken tooooo seriously.

So instead of taking this to heart (you may, though!)-
entertain yourself with:


Chinese tongue diagnosis for lovers

Surveys have shown that men who are good craftsmen, musicians or artists also make convincing lovers, whereas men who are all fingers and thumbs, as the saying goes, aren’t good lovers either. Men who enjoy good food or, better still, are skilful cooks themselves, often prove to be erotically talented connoisseurs also.

Jocks- better on the playground than in bed

Sportsmen, on the other hand, are often overrated; mostly, alas, they don’t have what women think they have.

Girls go crazy for a sharp dressed man. Not.

Nor are tasteful clothes any guarantee of erotic talents and the appropriate Fire. It’s well known that a man who isn’t a good kisser is definitely not a good option.
So what is an empress supposed to do?


The Chinese tongue diagnosis tells an empress how to recognise a good lover.


(The Chinese pulse diagnosis is even more conclusive, but proportionately more difficult to master.)


Chinese Tongue Diagnosis for Lovers

The empress recognises a good lover from the shape and colour of his tongue, so she makes sure she sees his tongue as soon as possible, just as Wu Zhao did.
How to accomplish this, is another question …

 The Fire Man

If a man has a tongue like Einstein, in the famous photo, or like Mick Jagger, then the empress knows she has before her a lover who combines intelligence with virility, and often also a very strong personality. The tongue is long, pointed and a strong red colour. It comes out straight and strong, and should not point upwards or downwards. The ideal lover has only a hint of coating on his tongue. A tongue that is completely uncoated, vivid red and possibly lacerated can be a warning that a man pushes himself too hard, that he may be in danger of impotence or may not live much longer. He should strengthen his Yin with herbs. As a lover, however, he may be good or even very good (for as long as he’s able).

The Wood Man

A broad tongue with clear muscle venters at the sides and raised edges usually belongs to a sportsman or a man who tends to be aggressive and choleric. As a lover a man like this substitutes unvarnished virility for eroticism. Fortunately, because he reacts powerfully and almost exclusively to visual delights (silicone breasts), he usually steers clear of strong and experienced women.

The Metal Man

If the tongue looks like a rectangular parcel, this is a highly rational, almost obsessive Metal Man. The empress gives this man her tax returns and has him fix her computer. He’s faithful, dependable and boring, and can be very domineering in an obsessive way. She would scarcely consider him as a lover.

The Water Man

If the tongue is very thin and only red at the tip, the empress has before her a rather shy and somewhat difficult man. He’s seldom ill-natured, but may be excessively love-hungry and self-involved. As a friend he can be very amusing, but may tend to whine. Self-involved as he is, he’s not afraid of powerful women, but values them as exciting opponents. He cultivates sophisticated sexual practices, employing toys of every description, and this can be very entertaining. But he has an underlying lack of confidence and likes to be inspired by the erotic writings of the Surrealists or de Sade.
So if you are not into “50 shades of grey” … think again.

The Earth Man

If his tongue is soft, pink, broad and often slightly swollen, the man is usually a good cook and prefers oral pleasures, frequently involving the genitalia. At his place the empress will always be given a good wine. If she’s gentle with him and gives him time, he may cover her with his favourite dessert, then lick it off meticulously. Agitation and stress are abhorrent to him, in bed as elsewhere. He prefers voluptuous women, from whom he correctly anticipates a great capacity for enjoyment. The empress will definitely consider him as a lover, as long as his inertia (that is, his dampness) doesn’t get out of control, in which case his tongue would become pale and bloated.


the empress is shameless

the empress is shameless




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